Welcome Baby Shelby Alexandra


Shelby Alexandra 


Lisa and Jim 


January 16, 2004 

Time of Birth:



7lbs. 8ozs. 



Dear Diane Ellen,

Who is like unto you? Yea, though we walked through shadow of the valley of the birth canal, we feared not. For you were like unto a shining beacon. Your knowledge and wisdom shineth forth like a fountain of light. We worship you, Diane Ellen, and have legally changed all of our names to Diane Ellen. I am lobbying Congress to rename the country "The United States of Diane Ellen". The United Nations will soon announce that your birthday will henceforth be known as "World Diane Ellen Day".

If you are willing to provide a DNA sample, we can start the project to repopulate the earth with Diane Ellen clones. We can begin work as soon as the sculpting of your face on the surface of the moon is done. These and other projects are being funded by the "Diane Ellen Center for the Study of Diane Ellen".

Not only should you be brought in for the birth of each and every child on the face of the earth (this is where the clones come in) but also for your advice and guidance on matters of national security, economic planning and farming methods. Is there anything you can't do, Diane Ellen?? Diane Ellen Diane Ellen Diane Ellen Diane Ellen Diane Ellen Diane Ellen Diane Ellen!!!!!!!

I just like saying it.

Well, I have to go now. I have to start calling each and every person on the planet to let them know just how wonderful you are. And then I will begin broadcasting your name out in to space so that other worlds know of you, too. It's a lot of work but some one has to do it!

Seriously, Lisa and I just wanted to write to tell you what a wonderful experience it was to have you involved with the birth of our child. You went above and beyond the call of duty and smoothed the way through even the roughest moments.

The hardest part of any hospital experience is not knowing exactly what is happening and being surrounded by doctors and nurses who, despite their proffessionalism, are just too busy to explain. This is where you shined.

You were our insider, the person who got the real scoop and let us know that everything would be okay. And your one on one instructional sessions provided us with information and advice that we use on a daily basis. You were an advocate, a teacher and a friend and for that we are eternally grateful.